477,800 miles (to the moon and back)

In a completely ordinary room of a teaching hospital, not unlike the room in which he was born, we finally got the puzzle piece to complete this five-year jigsaw puzzle. Each piece alone may not look like much, but combined it creates a picture of who my beautiful child is. He is creative and unique, and his mind does not see the world in the same way we do. Perhaps it is the complexity of the world that becomes the burden he wears, the reason behind his meltdowns, the explanation of his compulsions. He sees, feels, and hears complexity in everything: the brightness of lights that may seem dim to you, the smell of an ordinary odor, and the sounds we all but tune out. I understand now that he gravitates towards adults because he has learned that we are patient with his vocabulary, but his peers too easily become disinterested in attempting to listen to babble they do not comprehend. Along with all of this new understanding comes a sense of fear. I don’t fear at all that he won’t thrive in whatever environment he is placed. This kid has grit, resilience, and spirit. I do fear that this new word to describe his characteristics will scare away friends. Will parents whisper to other parents at the park that Logan has autism, and their children will overhear, and he will never be invited to a birthday party because they are uninformed about what that means? Logan has never had a best friend. My heart aches for what he may face as we move forward. Part of me feels like after today’s diagnosis things will never be the same, but I know that’s wrong. I knew that things would never be the same the day he was born. The day I sat with him in the NICU as he recovered from a traumatic birth, reading him “Guess How Much I Love You?” I looked at his tiny body, connected to tubes and machines, and cried and cried as I read: Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, ‘I love you right up to the moon-and back.’ Nothing changed today except that I held him a little tighter when I hugged him because I knew he might need a little extra understanding. Not everyone will understand him. I can’t even say I completely understand him. But even on those days when a meltdown is unavoidable, stares from strangers are inevitable, and cold words from even friends are certain, I do understand that my love for him will always go right up to the moon and back. 

To My Dearest First Born On Your Fifth Birthday

As the years too quickly pass, I am forced at times to push the pause button on the memories we make each day; mentally willing time to slow just so I can watch your doe eyes soaking in the world around you. The way you see the world is so unique and beautiful. Your first word was ‘wow,’ and you continue to be amazed just as I am amazed at you. Dear Logan, I see the struggles you face every day. You want so much to answer my questions, or ask your own, and I see the frustration and even fear in your eyes when the words just won’t come. I want you to know that even without words, I understand you. I understand that, like me, you are introspective; yet like your dad, you are loud and funny. I understand that you are passionate about numbers and counting. You love order. I understand that you are empathetic, expressing sadness when others are sad. I understand that you are creative, wanting no more than to play the part of a superhero. You love that Spiderman can fight the “big big big lizard” and always win. I want you to know that there will be many big big big lizards you will face in life, but just like any superhero, you have such grit that I know you can face them all with a sense of determination and stubbornness that any superhero would love to have. This past year I have watched you become a brother. You are a natural protector. I know Abby already annoys you because she wants your toys, but every morning when you come in to give her a kiss, she lights up and smiles bigger than she ever smiles around your dad or me. I am so grateful that you have a kind soul. Above all else, I want you to always remember that being kind is of utmost importance. On your fifth birthday, I want you to know that you are loved fiercely, you are held tightly, and you are cherished mightily. I want you to know that you have seen and explored more in your five years than many have in their lifetimes. Your dad and I value the fact that there is a big world out there, and we never want you to live in a bubble. We want you to be curious and to never take something at face value. We want to give you the gift of an open mind. I also want to show you the gift of faith. I hope that I can be a model for you of how my faith in God has made me a better person, and has led me through those times where I, too, had to fight those giant lizards. I thank God every day for you, and I never take a single laugh of yours for granted. Thank you for being the precious little boy I always dreamed of having. I’m so proud you are my son. Happy Birthday!H

A Lot of Catching Up to Do

First off, I apologize for the delay in posting. It has been entirely too long.

You know those Facebook posts from parents bragging about the incredibly intelligent thing their child just did? Reading by age 2? Reciting poetry or discussing a Monet painting? I really wanted to brag last month about something that was so much better than any of that to me, but I wasn't sure how to explain it to the world. For the first time ever, my son told me he loves me without me saying it first. He is four. You see, Logan has always had some developmental delays. Speech is one of his most difficult struggles, and I see the frustration in his eyes when he really wants to tell me something but can't quite grasp the language. He resorts to crying at times, which then leads to us both crying because I simply do not have the tools to help him with his speech. And unfortunately, neither does Ecuador. While I do have a vast array of knowledge in modifying instruction as a special education teacher, I need a specialist in speech right now. I love this country. I love the weather most of all. But one must do for their children what is necessary. And so, the next bit of news comes as a result of us needing to make a change for Logan.

 As many of you know, I have spent three years going back to school AGAIN. This time, to get my post-master's (Ed.S.) in Educational Leadership. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do with the degree, but I knew I was being called to lead somewhere. After applying to a few jobs, just to get a feel for what was out there, I was surprised when I was invited to Skype interview with a small school in Iowa for a school principal position. After the Skype interview, I was even more surprised when they invited me and the whole family to Iowa for another interview. So 25 hours and three very long flights later, we made it to the land of snow and cornfields. Here's Logan enjoying the snow:

After four days in a picturesque small town of just over 800 people, interviewing and meeting with teachers, parents, and the school board, we flew back to Ecuador. I was grateful for the experience, not knowing what the outcome would be. I'll skip all of the waiting and praying part and get to the next part. The job is mine. I am going to be a school principal! I've been working towards this for over ten years. We are moving to Iowa in July. I really hope this is a long term move, and I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity.  

In between the interview and finding out that the job is mine, we spent one whole week in the Galapagos Islands. This was a once in a lifetime vacation, and I will forever treasure our time there. Instead of writing a lot, I'll just post all of our pictures with some captions. They are very out of order. Sorry... Enjoy!

These first few pictures were taken at the Giant Tortoise Reserve. GIANT. I can see a resemblance to the dinosaurs. 

Close to the tortoise reserve are lava tunnels. The lava tunnels are part of the island's volcanic history. We thought it was strange that no one else was in the tunnels, but when we got to the end, we found out you had to crawl on your belly to get out. Needless to say, we turned back around.

Logan had to stop for a pee in the cave. :) Too funny to not take a picture of that. 

This was a boat parked outside of the pool at our hotel. 

One night in town, there was a beauty contest. Each contestant arrived in their own float. Below is one of those floats. 

All of the contestants. 

My favorite two pictures from the trip:

Arriving to the island:

To get to the main island, we had to fly, then take a bus to the ferry, then take a 40 minute taxi. 

One very famous part of the island is the Darwin research station:

It was SO hot!

This is where the famous turtle, Lonesome George, used to live. He died in 2012. 

We enjoyed a local lunch one day. They had no menu. We just had to eat whatever they brought us, and I must say, it was very delicious. 

One night on the pier we found a sea lion napping on a bench. 

Every night, and sometimes multiple times a day we stopped for ice cream. It was one of the only ways to beat the heat. This was Logan's second favorite part of the trip. His first favorite was swimming. 

While the island has beautiful beaches, they are difficult to get to. The most beautiful beach, Tortuga Bay, has a 2.5 km trail you must walk before arriving at the beach. In blazing sun, carrying an 18 pound baby. 

But it was worth it once we arrived!

Abby became somewhat of a celebrity while we were there. Many of the locals liked to hold her while we ate, and they passed her around to the other vendors. 

The fish market

More beach pictures

The rooftop where we were staying

Iguanas everywhere!

Beach selfie!

I thought bringing a tent to the beach one day would be a good idea. It was not. 

I highly recommend visiting the islands if you ever get a chance. Such a phenomenal piece of earth.